Tear Me Open, Sew Me Shut
by SingingMisery
Summary: Nick explores Greg's scars


**Title:** Tear Me Open, Sew Me Shut  
**Pairing/character:** Nick Stokes/Greg Sanders  
**Rating:** R  
**Notes/Warnings:** Slash, sexual acts performed, angsty Greg

* * *

It was a ritual of sorts. Every morning, he would get up (if he had slept at all) and stare at himself in the mirror. Trying to work up the courage to take his shirt off. Trying to work up the courage to see them. And every morning, he would turn away.

"I think something's wrong with me." His voice was hollow in the emptiness of his apartment. Only his goldfish were witness to his observation.

---

Coffee. It gave his shaking hands something to hold, steadying them. And then he could calm down enough to go to work. After all it had been three months since the explosion and pretty much all the damage had been cleared away.

"Greggo!" Greg turned and shot a smile at Nick, sipping from his coffee. The Texan handed over a DNA swab, watching as Greg prepared it to be processed.

"What's this case about?" The question was half and attempt to start conversation, half curiosity of who had killed who off in what horrible way. Greg paused, letting that thought run through his head. He needed a life.

"Girl suspected of killing of her ex-boyfriend." He paused, furrowing his brow in a grimace. "He carved her up pretty good, so I don't really blame her. Couldn't ever bring herself to look in the mirror."

Greg nearly dropped the swab. He had to swallow a few times before speaking. "O-oh?"

"Yeah, it's bad." Nick glanced at his watch, and heaved a frustrated sigh. "I have to get back to interrogation. Will you lemme know when that's done." Without waiting for a reply, Nick left. Greg sat for a few minutes, his thoughts making him restless. Giving up, he wandered out into the hall of the lab. He ran a shaking hand through his streaked hair, thinking. _Couldn't ever bring herself to look in the mirror._

Unconsciously, he drifted past interrogation. Worrying his bottom lip in his teeth, the lab tech cracked open the door.

No one was there.

Greg slipped into the small room and stood by the window. In the room, two metal chairs held Captain Brass, who had that condensceding look on his face. The other was a woman, limp red hair hanging over her face. Tired blue eyes stared at Brass.

"So tell me..Breanne. The man who attacked you and gave you those scars just happens to turn up dead." The robust man paused, raising an eyebrow. "And your telling me that you had nothing to do with it."

The women, Breanne, flicked her hair back. Greg couldn't contain his gasp of horror at the deep scars on the left side of her face, some of them disappearing into her neckline. "That is exactly what I am telling you Captain Brass." Her voice was quiet, laboured. As if she struggled with every breath she took. "While I do hate that man with every fibre of me, I did not kill him."

Brass raised his eyebrow further. "You're telling me after all the physical damage..."

"Physical...damage?" This time her voice crackled with energy. "It's the psychological damage I'm more worried about! DO you have any idea what it is like to hate what is staring back at you in the mirror?! Do you know what it is like to not be able to face anyone because the obvious difference between you and every beautiful individual out there makes you physically sick?!" This time she stood, towering over Brass. Fury made her eyes sharp and she slammed her hands on the table. "Do you have any idea what it is like to not be able to show your body to any potential lovers because than you would have to explain what made you such a freak in the first place?"

Every accusing question struck Greg like a knife, tearing his heart. He suddenly couldn't breathe, the air around him feeling hot and tight. Unbidden tears fell from his eyes as he stumbled back, groping for the door. Only to slam into a solid weight. He cried out, thrashing. He was a freak, a freak, a freak...

Nick caught Greg, terrified at this new side of the normally cheerful lab tech. "Greg. Greg! It's me, just me." The words had a calming effect on Greg and he relaxed. Nick grew even more terrified at the tears in Greg's eyes. He waited until Greg stopped moving before he let go. "Greg...what's up with you man? Why are you in here?"

The lab tech didn't say anything, just clutched his head in his hands. Nick stood up, the interrogation not at all disturbed by Greg's outburst. He tilted his head, wondering why Greg would want to watch this woman being questioned. He was not the type of guy to come down and laugh at some one's scars...

Then it hit him, the realization of what was going on making his eyes closed. He was such an idiot. He bent down, getting a good look at Greg. He had dark circles under his eyes, his eyes themselves were dark with exhaustion. Greg rubbed at them, the moisture from his crying jag spiking out his dark eyelashes. But despite all this, Nick couldn't help but think that Greg was beautiful.

He blinked, that though unnerving him a little. He knew he found some men attractive, even had relationships with them. But Greg was just so not what he was used to. The Texan stood, pulling Greg with him. "When was the last time you ate, or slept?"

"I had coffee this morning and..."

"No, Greg." Nick interrupted,"I mean really had something to eat. Something with a little substance."

The younger paused, looking embarrassed. "I can't remember."

Nick was shocked. He thought only people in the field were affected like this. He turned and dragged Greg out, stomping down the hall. Greg protested weakly, but made no move to get away. A fire of some sorts was burning inside him to know that Nick felt this way about him. That combined with his touch...

Nick barged into Grissom's office. The director was carefully putting on the finishing touches on his butterfly collection, the final pin almost in place. He paused, pushing the pin in, before turning around. "What is it Nick...and Greg?" Grissom raised an eyebrow, much like Brass had, when he saw the miserable looking lab tech behind Nick.

"Grissom, Greg needs some time off. He's a lot more affected by the explosion than we thought." Nick's accent was more apparent when he was rushed. "And he hasn't been eating...or sleeping." The last part was thrown out with a nod, making Nick look like a child who was trying to make his point to a stuffed doll. Greg blushed even more at the scrutinizing look Grissom shot him.

"Is this true, Greg?" And he had to answer, because other than Nick, Grissom was the only person he couldn't lie to. He nodded. Grissom took of his glasses, pursing his lips in thought. He shot them another look. "Okay. I'm giving you both the week off. Warrick will handle the ex-boyfriend murder"

Nick paused, confused. "Wait, what? Why me?"

A faint smile played around Grissom's lips as the older man put his glasses back on. "It's obvious Nick. You are his protector." He turned back to the butterflies, stroking a wing. Greg glared at his boss's head, indignant that he didn't get a say in what was going on. Nick pulled him out. He had to hand to Grissom. For an old guy, he was pretty shrewd.

The first thing Nick did when he arrived at Greg's apartment was take a step back. It wasn't...dirty, per say. It was just really messy. The second thing he did was send Greg to grab some of his things.

"Why?"

"Because you're staying with me." Greg wanted to argue, but the thrill of being with Nick was just too appealing. His hands were trembling, but this time for a different reason. Packing up a small travel bag, he hopped down the stairs and out into the cool air. Nick leaned against his truck, waiting. He smiled when Greg appeared. For no apparent reason, butterflies that were much more alive than the one's Grissom had fluttered in his stomach. _He's just being nice_, Greg muttered to himself. _Don't read anything into it_.

Nick sighed as Greg wandered around his house, questioning his judgment at bringing Greg here. The thin lab tech studied his pictures, laughing at the baby photos of Nick. It was nice to see Greg the joker again, but it wasn't his fault he was a chubby baby. Greg turned to him, happiness a faint sparkle in his eye. Nick returned it, making sure to show some teeth. There was a pause in which Greg stopped smiling for a bit, his expression becoming thoughtful. Nick cleared his throat, startling the younger man.

"I am going to make something to eat. Why don't you go shower?" Greg nodded, fleeing up the stairs. He found the bathroom with ease, slamming the door shut with a little too much force. He winced, mentally apologizing to Nick. But that had been way too weird. His thoughts drifted back to Nick, wondering again what it would be like to kiss the Texan. He shuddered as mental images of him and Nick assaulted his brain. To distract himself, Greg turned on the shower.

Nick once again forced his thoughts back to simple pasta meal he was cooking. He added the sauce to the drained noodles, stirring the two together. He snagged one, slipping it into his mouth. It tasted good._ I wonder what Greg tastes like?_

He sighed, disgusted with himself. Greg obviously trusted him enough to come stay at Nick's place. He wasn't about to abuse that. Besides, this was Greg. Greg Sanders, the goof from the lab. Who flirted with every female within a fifty mile radius.

_It is possible to like more than one sex, you know._ His traitorous brain filled him with suggestible images. _After all, you do_.

He squashed that thought before he could even contemplate it.

Nick climbed up the stairs to his bathroom. The water was no longer running. Slightly worried, he banged on the door. Behind it, Greg gave a surprised yelp.

"You scared me!"

Nick chuckled, relieved. "Sorry, but dinner is ready."

"Okay, just let me get dressed." Nick swallowed. Greg. Was Naked. Behind about two inches of wood, the beautiful, but untouchable man, was unclothed. He went back down into the kitchen, stopping to adjust his pants. They had suddenly become tight.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Greg was ravenously hungry, the emotional events of the day making him hungry. He gulped down two plates of pasta before Nick had even finished one. Nick watched him, amused. But, he had something to talk about.

"Tell me what happened today." It wasn't an order, but his voice was firm all the same.

Greg looked away, his face stormy. Nick waited as he collected his thoughts. The lab tech processed his thinking, organizing them. "I just...don't want to end up like that girl. When the explosion went off, and I got burned...it didn't really hit me. I mean, it may have been the shock and the painkillers..." His voice trailed off into a nervous laugh. Nick didn't say anything, not wanting to interrupt Greg. His unwavering gaze gave Greg both brave and nervous feelings. A napkin was twisted, little bits torn off. "Later, I caught a glimpse in the shower and I was...shocked. I didn't think they were that bad. After that, I kinda withdrew. I change at home; making sure no one at work can see them. I avoid any situations where they would be exposed. You know, swimming and sports. And sex...forget it. I was becoming an empty shell. When I snuck into interrogation, and when that woman was just yelling out those questions...It hit me hard that I was quickly going down a path that I wouldn't easily be able to come back from." He smiled, a few tears falling from his dark eyes. "I don't want to end up as a hateful person, angry at the world just because he's ugly."

Nick had to interject there. He stood astride Greg and gripped the younger man's chin, gently forcing him to look up. "Enough. Greg, you're not ugly. And a few scars will not change that fact.

Greg's eyes widened in disbelief. He stood, stepping back from Nick. "How can you say that? You haven't seen them."

Nick turned to Greg, eyes serious. "Let me see." He approached, stepping closer to Greg. Getting so close that Greg could feel the heat radiating off him. "Let me see. I'll be the judge of what I find ugly."

Greg shivered as Nick's voice curled around his soul. He played with the hem of his shirt, glancing nervously at the Texan. With Nick's encouraging nod, he slipped off the shirt. Shivering from nerves and the sudden cold, Greg stood naked from the waist up, waiting for instructions. Nick approached, encircling him. "I'm going to touch you now. Is that okay?" With Greg's silent nod, Nick placed his large, warm hand of Greg's back. He ran his thumb along the edge of the scar, analyzing it. Greg shuddered; slightly disgusted at the amount of attention Nick was paying to the disfigurements. Nick traced the outline with his fingertips, nails scraping along Greg's back. The younger man shifted this time. "Ticklish?" Nick murmured, fascinated by the thinly defined muscles of Greg's back. He nodded, biting back a moan when Nick prodding gently at the small of his back. Nick shook his head, not finding the scarred tissue at all disgusting or ugly. It was unique, an odd pattern that he could spend the rest of his life exploring. Just like Greg...

Greg's eyes fluttered closed at the tender touches, not really used to be handled like he was a fragile piece of art. He remained still, his discomfort at being exposed like this forgotten. He sighed, the sound adding to the spell being cast. Nick ran his knuckles over the shoulder blade. Feeling brave, he pressed a kiss to the younger man's shoulder.

Greg turned slightly at the kiss, surprised. Nick looked suddenly nervous, running a hand over his short hair. "Greg...I, uh, I mean..."

Greg just shook his head, pressing his lips to Nick's. It was wet, hot and just wonderful. Greg pressed his naked chest to Nick's clothed one. They separated, panting. Greg bit his lip. "You're going to have to lead on this one. I have no idea what I am doing."

That spurned Nick into action. He lifted Greg up, carrying him bridal style up the stairs. The lab tech blushed, arms encircling Nick's neck. When he reached the bedroom, Nick gently set Greg down on the bed. The Texan pressed a few more kisses to Greg's neck as the younger man wiggled slightly. He gripped the waistband of Greg's pants, looking up into nervous brown eyes. "Lift your hips up for me, baby." Greg obeyed, his pants landing on the ground. Nick sat back to admire the pretty picture the naked man made. Light from the moon shone in the window, illuminating Greg's skin. It gave him an almost ethereal glow. The younger man blushed at the scrutiny his soon-to-be-lover was studying him with. Feeling a little indignant at being the only one naked, Greg sat up and gently pulled off Nick's shirt. He ran a shaking hand over the muscles that were much larger than his own. Nick's pants were next, the article of clothing flung down onto the floor with his underwear. Both were silent, studying each other's bodies. Their eyes met and Nick gently pushed Greg down onto the bed. Greg mewled when his cock pressed into Nick's flat stomach, the sudden pressure making a jolt of pleasure shoot up his spine. Nick smirked at this reaction, rocking his hips so Greg could feel his own desire. Nick kissed his way down Greg's chest until he was eye level with the slighter man's cock. Greg licked his lips, nervous at what Nick was going to do. His question was answered when Nick took his half-hard arousal into his mouth. Greg cried out, writhing when Nick teased him with his tongue. The wet heat was driving him insane. Nick bobbed his head slowly at first, wanting to draw this out. But Greg bucked his hips up slightly, begging for more. Breathless moans and whimpers spurned Nick on, bobbing faster this time. Greg brought a arm up to his eyes, unable to watch his manhood disappearing into Nick's mouth. He panted harsly, orgasm fast approaching. When it hit, he hissed, eyes screwed shut. Nick took it all, the hot essence searing its way down his throat. The beautiful look on Greg's face ripped an orgasm from Nick as well, his come splashing in hot spurts on the sheets. He let the softening cock fall out of his mouth, pressing a kiss to trembling abdominal muscles.

"So, now do you believe me?"

Greg couldn't answer with much more than a nod, eyes dropping. He flopped back onto the bed with a sigh, his post orgasm bliss drawing him into a dreamless sleep. Nick smiled sleeply, settling down next to Greg.

And to think this was the first day of a weeklong vacation.

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End file.
